Monday, September 21, 2009
I think my husband and I have done a fairly good job managing the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy. We quickly learned that certain movies and television shows aren't safe to watch right now. Oddly, The Twilight Zone, falls into this category. Seriously, try to find an episode that doesn't have a sad ending.
My husband has also mastered the fine art of avoiding me in the morning. I wake up, he gives me a kiss on the forehead, and then disappears, either to go to school, or to work out while I get ready and eat breakfast. I'm a friendlier person after breakfast. Mornings and I don't get along to well.
He's been doing great with the compliments to. I get thanked for making dinner, and cleaning the house, and carrying the baby. It's been nice, I hope he keeps this up after I have the baby. He's also mastered things that he didn't seem to get a few months ago. Like putting dishes in the dishwasher. He helps out around the house, does the laundry, and compliments me for every little thing I do.
Despite all of that, he still gets snapped at on occasion. Poor guy. I've fully freaked out on him about three times during this pregnancy. Once while we were grocery shopping (I hate grocery shopping!) he kept asking me if we needed more brown sugar, I didn't know, so he asked how much we had, I didn't remember, twenty questions about brown sugar later and I snapped that if he was that worried about brown sugar, spend the three bucks and shut up already. The argument that followed was so bad that we left without any groceries and didn't talk the rest of the day.
If he's done everything "right" he doesn't have a lot of patience for mood swings. He also has this annoying habit of blaming things on pregnancy hormones that are completely his fault. Like this other time we were grocery shopping (Notice a trend here? We should seriously not grocery shop together.) and he was taking his sweet time deciding between one type of soda or another, as he calculated calories, and caffeine intake, I lost my patience, and told him I was going to the baby aisle. He said he would meet me there in a few minutes, I agreed, and left to browse cute baby things. Ten minutes later he calls me from the car wondering where the heck I am. I got annoyed and told him I was exactly where I was supposed to meet him, he didn't remember we were supposed to meet, and got angry with me for "not knowing him well enough to know whether or not he was paying attention." Seriously? He did eventually apologize for that, but I still think in his head I was being irrational for being angry at him for being angry at me for not realizing when he looked right at me and said I'll meet you here, he wasn't paying attention.
I swear he has manms, he gets mood swings, gets irritable, the works. The thing that concerns me though, is that I'm so much less understanding about it than he is when I have mood swings. I mean granted, I am female, it is expected. But why does it irritate me so much when he gets annoyed at the computer because the printer isn't working. He's not angry at me. Sure he's yelling at an inanimate object, but why do I sigh and roll my eyes and make comments? Shouldn't I use the same common sense he does and avoid him while he's on the computer like he avoids me in the morning? Why can't I cut him the same slack I ask for (and get) every day?
So today as I stood staring at the kitchen he had trashed during his all night study session for a disease management class (the studying I get, the three am grilling of a steak, making of orange glaze sauce, mashed potatoes, and steamed vegetables puzzles me a little) I decided to cut him a break. I would not attack him the moment he walked in the door about how this one time he forgot to put the dishes in the dish washer, or wipe down the countertops. I simply cleaned, and when he got home asked him how his test went.
Wouldn't you know the next words out of his mouth were an apology for trashing the kitchen, and an offer to make dinner? I love my husband, and I'm so glad I gave him a chance to be sweet as opposed to attacking him. I know pregnancy is supposed to make you more emotional and crazy, but sometimes I wonder if it hasn't made me a little nicer? I feel more serene these days than I ever remember feeling before. We've had a happy marriage, but this last nine months we've both felt so much happier with each other than ever before. We've both been nicer and more understanding. I hope this isn't some weird baby euphoria that goes away after delivery.