Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Pulled

Bella is home recovering from her first road trip. We had a great time. We left Sunday morning, and when we passed through Atlanta visited my friends baby shower.
They had a nice baby shower, I'm talking champaign, (which of course I couldn't drink :( ) different types of cheese, little mini bagels with salmon and cream cheese on them, and exquisite decorations.
And there my husband and I were in our travel-comfie clothes, with a baby who was not enjoying being out in her car seat while the car wasn't moving.
Still, we had fun. These people were our neighbors at our last apartment (my favorite place I've ever lived) and we actually made friends with their fifteen year old son first, and then his dad, then his mother. They're great people, lot's of fun to talk to, and I've missed them so much. I'm glad we went, and I think their son was happy to have someone to talk to. :)
So we visited, and gave our gift, and then out the door we went to drive another two hours to go to Columbus. We were supposed to drop by my mil's house and say hello before proceeding to my Aunts house, where we would be staying the week, but instead stayed at my Mil's for the night. We were just to tired to do anymore driving. Even though it was only 8:00 at night, the twenty minute drive to my aunts was just too much, and if we were tired, Bella was exausted.
She handled it like a champ though. She cuddled with her grandmother, and her (step? how do you say this? we've got to figure it out before she can talk, he's a great guy, but my husband doesn't call him dad or anything, he was too old before they got married, so what should my daughter call him?) grandfather, and her uncles coo'd over her. (Still too nervous to hold her, lol)
We watched "Up" (saddest movie ever, btw) and went to sleep.
When we woke the next morning, we ran some errands, ate lunch with some friends, and visited my Mil during her lunch break, so she could show off the baby to her friends and co-workers.
My aunt wanted us to stay for dinner (makes perfect sense to me, right?) my husband wanted to go to my mil's after she got off work at 6:00, and hang out until we went home to go to sleep. "She wants to see her grand daughter." Was his reasoning.
Yeah... we see her once a month, I haven't spent time with my family in a year. Hmm..
To be fair, my mil seems to get the road goes both ways thing and visits us frequently, but this week wasn't supposed to be about visiting her, it was supposed to be about visiting my side of the family. We're seeing her in about two weeks when we go to her home town to visit with her parents, and siblings.
We decided to eat at my Aunts, and head into Columbus after dinner. My brother came for dinner, and we had a great time. When it came time to go to Columbus though, my husband decided it would be better to visit tommorow, because it was getting late (it was about 7:30, but we would want to be in by 10:00 so we weren't bothering my family by coming in late).
Problem is my grandmother was coming in the next day, and we wanted to spend time with her, and the next day my mom came in, and then his family left for thanksgiving on Thursday.
Anyhow, between seeing my relatives, getting everything ready for thanksgiving, and the fact that my mil got off at 6:00 each night, which left a small window to visit, we didn't see her again while we were in town.
Note: She is not upset, I mean she was dissapointed to not see Bella, but she understood. My husband felt terrible though, and that irritates me.
Why did he commit to seeing them beyond that one night we stayed at their place? I asked him not to, because I knew this could happen, but when his mother asked if we would drop by again while we were in town, and I said we would try but it was a pretty busy week, he cut in and said we would make it down here sometime before Thursday, not for long of course, but we would be back.
That put pressure on, and each day we tried to find time, and felt terrible when we couldn't. Had we just said from the get go, "we'll stay with you a night, and eat lunch with you, but after that we're visiting with her relatives who drove or flew to be here that she hasn't seen in a year, and have never met the baby," everything would have been fine. We could have just ended with that lunch and been done with it.
I hate this, I can't wait until our families don't live in the same town anymore. My mothers moved, my brother is moving to Atlanta, and my Aunt and Uncle are moving back to New York. Then when we visit, there isn't any pressure to make rounds, no hurt feelings, just visit, and go.
I won't even have to choose about Holidays. His family is Jehovah's (sp?) witness (my dh wasn't raised as a witness, I'm not sure when my mil converted, it was before he met me, but it sounded recent then) so they don't do holidays. As long as we visit during breaks at some point we should be fine.
But no more of this trying to appease everyone in one trip thing, either someones going to get their feelings hurt, or I'm going to spend the whole trip stressed, or both!

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