Tuesday, October 6, 2009

After Birth


I was given time with the baby right after birth to bond and try to feed. She did a good job with latching and for awhile my husband and I just stared at her. Then it was off to the after delivery room, and the baby was taken to the nursery to be seen by her pediatrician.
I fell asleep promptly, and when I awoke I had a wonderful daughter laying in a bassinet by my bed. We had fun counting all her fingers and toes and talking to her, and I took the time to take stock of the damage done to my body.
My arms, legs, and back were very sore. This puzzled me for some reason (pregnancy stupidity?) and my husband pointed out I'd been exercising those muscles for about two hours straight pushing. Mystery solved, I moved on to my breasts, which didn't feel any different yet, but leaked fluid just about anytime I moved. Now for the scary part... down there. I opted not to look and see the damage, but considering that every time I went to the restroom there was enough blood to provide for three over the top slaughter films, I imagined it was pretty bad.
I'd read in the books that the first time you poop after delivery is a majorly frightening event. Thankfully I had to potty pretty soon after delivery while I was still pretty much out of it. I suffered a moments apprehension but otherwise it was all very uneventful and not painful at all.
Body accounted for, I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and fixed my hair enough to become presentable, and then spent the rest of the day lying in bed with my baby, making small talk with my in-laws.
I know I'm a terrible person, I love my mil, and my little bil, but I really just wanted it to be me and my husband for awhile. My little bil was bored and sleepy and kept complaining about it. (My heart goes out to you kid, really, whine about being tired and having nothing to do one more time, we can see how far I can throw an iv needle) my mil of course wanted to hold the baby and talk. All I wanted to do was hold the baby and stare at it. She was really considerate though, always asked before holding the baby, so she mostly got her during my naps.
Feedings were a minor issue here because they would leave the room, and my husband would feel obligated to go with them and continue small talk in the cafeteria. I wanted him with me. It wasn't an issue for long though, they left that night, after giving us our baby gift. A cute bassinet for home.
The whole staff was nice, but getting your bp checked every hour, and having doctors and nurses come by to either take the baby or check on you gets tedious fast. It's like there is a schedule, and I don't know it, so it frustrates me even more. I could plan to say eat when the baby was gone as opposed to eating while holding the baby because I didn't want to let her go.
I was visited by a lactation consultant from the hospital and from a kaiser consultant, so that was very handy. Bella had done a little damage to my right nipple with incorrect latching, but we were now able to fix the problem and nursing was no longer a painful event.
I think at this point I was still in shock that I had a baby, when she was in the room she was all I could look at, when she was gone, it was like she hadn't existed yet? Not in a bad way, and with no negative feelings, but it felt like a dream, not reality. I was still waiting on reality to kick in.

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