Routines

I never realized how reliant Bella was on routines. She's doing great now that we're home. Slept straight through the night her first night home and has been doing great ever since. She's not been especially fussy, she's just been herself. While we were on vacation though, it was an entirely different story.
She was up all night, she cried almost all the time, and she was just this strange baby. I felt bad because I bragged about how quiet she was.
I think she was overwhelmed. There were to many people, to much noise, and she was being passed around to much. I'm thrilled she got to meet everyone, but I'm sad that it stressed her out so much.
Later this month we're going to meet his family and the situation will repeat itself. Hopefully she'll be a bit better adjusted for this second trip, but if she's not is this fair? Should I be making her travel when it so clearly stresses her out? Or is this just selfish of us?

Jacob Black

I saw New Moon twice while on vacation. My mother wanted to see it, and my friend wanted to see what all of her students were talking about. Mostly my friend just made fun of it while she watched it, which was a lot of fun (don't worry, we whispered very quietly, so as not to upset other members of the audience... except for the part where one guy said he saw nothing in Bella's head... we had to laugh at that) however she did enjoy one aspect of the movie quite a bit








There were many comments made about his appearence, and what he may be allowed to do to my friend, werewolf or not. In fact she talked at GREAT length about that the whole way home. Then... because I am a mean friend, I showed her this

Which came out the year after we graduated high school

Santa

The first thing I wanted to do after Thanksgiving was get that santa picture. I was so excited, this is a Christmas tradition, and I get to share it with my daughter, how cool is that?
Everyone was against it.
"You're going to let some dirty old man hold your baby?" asks my mother.
"It's flue season, you'll get her sick!" says my aunt
"It's too cold outside for babies, stay indoors." advised my grandmother.
"She'll only cry," my brother pointed out

I was obstinate. Santa was going to hear my little girls christmas wishes, so help me.

So I went shopping for the perfect outfit.

"Don't get that one, it'll get stained." My mom told me helpfully
"She'll outgrow it before she wears it twice." My aunt reminded me
"It may be too warm" My grandmother said, "She'll have to wear an outfit under it, and then it may be too tight."
I was sensing a pattern.
Still, I bought the outfit, I put the baby in it outside of an Atlanta bread company (over her other outfit, but wow, the horrified looks I got when I took out the changing pad(never used!) and put it down on the table, poor diners thought I was going to change a diaper or something)
and then marched up to see Santa.
And the picture was taken.

Everyone on facebook commented on the adorable outfit, and how cute it was I took my baby to see Santa.
My mother learned how to use picture messaging to spread this picture around
It's the background on my aunts computer
My grandmother printed off copies and turned them into Christmas cards.
Go figure, maybe the new mom was right?

Thanksgiving

I'm so behind on posting, lol, it's been a busy week, just getting back into the routine of things.

So Thanksgiving morning my husband and I were woken up by a phone call, his grandmother had died. Naturally he was very upset, and so was I. His grandmother was a wonderful woman, whom I'd met on many occasions, but unfortnately Bella had not yet met.

We had been planning to go up to his home town next month to visit her.

It wasn't really a surprise, we knew she was sick. In fact her liver failed a year ago, and we had been told on numerous occasions that she would die within days. The last time we saw her was at her seventy-ninth birthday party on mothers day. I couldn't travel after that, and the doctor only just gave us clearence to travel again at my six week checkup last week. So its not as though we could help it, but we felt guilty all the same.

My husband decided he would go to the funeral alone, since my mother was only visiting a few days before she had to fly back to California, the baby and I would stay with her, and the rest of my family in Columbus.

That night we ate thanksgiving dinner, and let my husband baby sit the baby while my mom and I went to New Moon. I felt like a jerk, but he insisted, and wanted to spend some time alone with the baby.

After the movie (more on that later) my mom and I went to Walmart and got Bella a swing, and a tummy time mat. The next afternoon, my husband drove to his grandmothers funeral by himself. Don't I feel like a jerk :(

Pulled

Bella is home recovering from her first road trip. We had a great time. We left Sunday morning, and when we passed through Atlanta visited my friends baby shower.
They had a nice baby shower, I'm talking champaign, (which of course I couldn't drink :( ) different types of cheese, little mini bagels with salmon and cream cheese on them, and exquisite decorations.
And there my husband and I were in our travel-comfie clothes, with a baby who was not enjoying being out in her car seat while the car wasn't moving.
Still, we had fun. These people were our neighbors at our last apartment (my favorite place I've ever lived) and we actually made friends with their fifteen year old son first, and then his dad, then his mother. They're great people, lot's of fun to talk to, and I've missed them so much. I'm glad we went, and I think their son was happy to have someone to talk to. :)
So we visited, and gave our gift, and then out the door we went to drive another two hours to go to Columbus. We were supposed to drop by my mil's house and say hello before proceeding to my Aunts house, where we would be staying the week, but instead stayed at my Mil's for the night. We were just to tired to do anymore driving. Even though it was only 8:00 at night, the twenty minute drive to my aunts was just too much, and if we were tired, Bella was exausted.
She handled it like a champ though. She cuddled with her grandmother, and her (step? how do you say this? we've got to figure it out before she can talk, he's a great guy, but my husband doesn't call him dad or anything, he was too old before they got married, so what should my daughter call him?) grandfather, and her uncles coo'd over her. (Still too nervous to hold her, lol)
We watched "Up" (saddest movie ever, btw) and went to sleep.
When we woke the next morning, we ran some errands, ate lunch with some friends, and visited my Mil during her lunch break, so she could show off the baby to her friends and co-workers.
My aunt wanted us to stay for dinner (makes perfect sense to me, right?) my husband wanted to go to my mil's after she got off work at 6:00, and hang out until we went home to go to sleep. "She wants to see her grand daughter." Was his reasoning.
Yeah... we see her once a month, I haven't spent time with my family in a year. Hmm..
To be fair, my mil seems to get the road goes both ways thing and visits us frequently, but this week wasn't supposed to be about visiting her, it was supposed to be about visiting my side of the family. We're seeing her in about two weeks when we go to her home town to visit with her parents, and siblings.
We decided to eat at my Aunts, and head into Columbus after dinner. My brother came for dinner, and we had a great time. When it came time to go to Columbus though, my husband decided it would be better to visit tommorow, because it was getting late (it was about 7:30, but we would want to be in by 10:00 so we weren't bothering my family by coming in late).
Problem is my grandmother was coming in the next day, and we wanted to spend time with her, and the next day my mom came in, and then his family left for thanksgiving on Thursday.
Anyhow, between seeing my relatives, getting everything ready for thanksgiving, and the fact that my mil got off at 6:00 each night, which left a small window to visit, we didn't see her again while we were in town.
Note: She is not upset, I mean she was dissapointed to not see Bella, but she understood. My husband felt terrible though, and that irritates me.
Why did he commit to seeing them beyond that one night we stayed at their place? I asked him not to, because I knew this could happen, but when his mother asked if we would drop by again while we were in town, and I said we would try but it was a pretty busy week, he cut in and said we would make it down here sometime before Thursday, not for long of course, but we would be back.
That put pressure on, and each day we tried to find time, and felt terrible when we couldn't. Had we just said from the get go, "we'll stay with you a night, and eat lunch with you, but after that we're visiting with her relatives who drove or flew to be here that she hasn't seen in a year, and have never met the baby," everything would have been fine. We could have just ended with that lunch and been done with it.
I hate this, I can't wait until our families don't live in the same town anymore. My mothers moved, my brother is moving to Atlanta, and my Aunt and Uncle are moving back to New York. Then when we visit, there isn't any pressure to make rounds, no hurt feelings, just visit, and go.
I won't even have to choose about Holidays. His family is Jehovah's (sp?) witness (my dh wasn't raised as a witness, I'm not sure when my mil converted, it was before he met me, but it sounded recent then) so they don't do holidays. As long as we visit during breaks at some point we should be fine.
But no more of this trying to appease everyone in one trip thing, either someones going to get their feelings hurt, or I'm going to spend the whole trip stressed, or both!

Vacation and New Moon

I'm so excited to go on vacation next week! My husband and I are heading home for the holidays starting tommorow, and coming home next Sunday. I won't be able to blog there, but I'll have tons to write about when I get home.

What should I bring for the baby? I know I need to pack pretty much all of her clothes, because she has leaky diapers (We tries huggies little snugglers... super cute, they match her winnie the pooh nursery, but they leak pretty much every time you use them, even doubled up. The walmart brand parents choice leaks semi-frequently, the only brand I've never had a leak with is Pampers, but I still need to try Luvs)

and I need to bring her blankets, a towel and washcloth, her swadler, her sling, and maybe her bouncer. Should I bring her wipe warmer? She kind of hates cold wipes. She doesn't play with toys yet, not really, so I think I'm safe there, she's never needed gas medicine, or baby Tylenol, but she may while we're out of town, so I should bring those just to be safe, and of course her car seat, but is there something essential I'm forgetting? How about it mom's? What do you have to take when you leave town with a six week old?

Anyone sick of hearing about Twilight feel free to tune out now, you won't be missing anything else

One thing I'm going to do when I go down there is hang out with some friends for a girls night, and see New Moon. I'm embarrassed, I've spent the last year bashing that series, and now I sort of want to see it in theaters. Unlike most English majors, I don't have an issue with Stephenie Meyers writing, I'm not much of a literary snob. I mean as far as creative writing goes, she's sort of the desired outcome right? I wouldn't mind selling one of my stories, and making millions, I just know it's not likely to happen.

I read her books, the plots were interesting, nothing special, but I did read all four books, which means it was interesting enough to stick with, and more importantly generate three more sales. I also think her characters were very realistic.

The problem is that they realistically reminded me of people I just don't like very much.

To clarify, my daughter is named Isabella, it's a family name, she is NOT named for Bella Swan. Bella reminds me of this girl I knew in High School, she wasn't anything special, just shy and quiet, and so it seemed like she attracted every eligible guy in a hundred foot radius, not because she was pretty (just average, which isn't bad, I'm just average myself on a good day) but because they could insert whatever personality they wanted into her and she wouldn't speak up to object.

When asked these three different guys liked her for three different sets of personality traits, about sixty percent of which she didn't have. Everyone assumed she was smart, but she wasn't in particular, and she and I talked on more than one occasion about how frustrated she was that everyone kept putting all of these labels and expectations on her just because she didn't speak up to prove them wrong or ask otherwise. My friend was a doormat, and she was well aware of it.

Of course as it happened any guy I ever liked fell for her, and so I was very jealous, and then she started dating this guy I was best friends with and really liked but knew I would never date, our relationship was completely platonic, we never dated, and I still talk to him all the time, but because we never dated I still kind of wonder what if? I know "what if" we didn't date because he's sort of like my brother, or at least a very well liked cousin. It would be gross. Anyhow, she cheated on him with this other guy I liked, and broke my best friends heart, and really insulted me. It was all very immature, and dramatic, and I'm so glad I've outgrown that stage of life.

So that's pretty much who I see Bella Swan as, unfair maybe, but has anyone ever known anyone like that? The quiet pretty girl that everyone thinks is so smart?

One thing I found interesting is I liked Bella more in Midnight Sun, when told from Edward's perspective. Maybe if he could read her mind he wouldn't like her either?

What bothers me the most about the series is that Bella thinks of herself as a smart and independent woman, when really she's about as passive and doormat like as they come. She's book smart, she listens to classical music, but she is completely dependent on her boyfriend, or at least on having a boy around to lean on. The correct response to a boy sneaking into your room without you knowing to watch you sleep, following you, being incredibly over protective of you, threatening to kill you and following you is to let your dad the chief of police know about him. Edward is obsessively controlling, and is constantly making her feel inferior, and she lets him, and that makes me angry. It's a terrible message to send you young adult women everywhere, they have an extremely unhealthy relationship, and Bella lies and manipulates her way into it, and doesn't care who she hurts so long as she gets her way. There is nothing positive about Bella Swan.

Don't get me wrong, I like the books, and like I said, they portray a certain kind of person very realistically, and that person does tend to think of themself as strong and independent, and never sees the danger in being used as a doormat by their borderline abusive controlling boy friends (to clarify, Edward does not at all remind me of my very good guy friend,) but will kids reading it see the difference?

Maybe I shouldn't worry about it, if these books are still popular when Bella hits a good age to read them I'll talk to her about positive and negative relationships, but it's not like Beauty and the Beast was in a much better one.

In fiction we like controlling men who are constantly having to rescue us, my favorite couple as a kid was Sailor Moon and Darien, in literature it was Julian and Jenny from the Forbidden Games series, it took me about a week into my dating life to realize that the men who attract me on screen or in books would make me so incredibly angry in real life that I wouldn't be able to stand in the same room with them, it took me maybe another week to realize that arguments weren't romantic, despite chick flicks that imply otherwise, so I'd never be compatible with those types of guys. Even on the rare occasion I've fought with my husband I can honestly promise you we have never stopped yelling and begun passionately kissing each other, hell no, we're lucky if we can stand to be in the same room with each other until we've cooled way way off.

Ah well, chick flicks are still fun to watch

Milestones

It's amazing how small things we take for granted are such difficult milestones for babies. This weekend Bella began raising her head all by herself, and holding it up for impressive periods of time. I still need to support her head when I'm holding her, because she doesn't have complete control, but still! How exciting :)

Then on Monday she rolled over during tummy time!

She's just started showing interest in toys, not playing with them, or even really touching them, but she'll look, and she seems much more interested in story time than before. Her squeaks and sighs are sounding a little more conversational, though we're no where near goo-goo ga-ga's, and she's staying awake for longer chunks of time (granted this chunk of time is from 12:00 AM to 3:00 AM, but hey, I'll take what I can get)

She's thinking about crawling, well not really, but she can lift her but with her feet, and lift her head and torso, just not all at the same time. She can scoot like a pro though! The baby book says she should be smiling and laughing soon, and anticipating routines, (it would help if I would establish a routine) It's all so amazingly exciting, is it strange I'm a little sad though, it's going by so fast, 6 weeks ago she was one baby, and she's slowly morphing into this other baby who can do things other than sleep and blink sleepily up at my face. I'm thrilled, and I love it, but I feel like I'm not taking enough time to cherish every second of this newborn stage. People keep telling me to watch out, they grow up fast, and I'm half afraid I'm going to blink and she'll be walking.

One things for sure, she's one smart baby. She's gotten strategic with her pacifier (see above picture) she'll cry for it, spit it out, and leave it propped on her lip for use later. I thought it was coincidence, or her just spitting out her pacifier, but when I lovingly reached down to pull up her covers and move her pacifier out of her way, she woke and cried, and this repeated a few times until I finally got wise that she likes her pacifier right where it is. She's also perfected the mommy fetch game with said pacifier, she's pretty good at throwing.

Anyone else's baby hate tummy time with a fiery passion? Seriously, she cries the second I put her down until she rolls over. Poor baby, hates to exercise, just like her mommy