Pre pregnancy Weight

So today I decided to weigh myself. I look a lot better, not more huge tummy, and I'm not swollen up like a chipmunk anymore. Hooray, I lost 22 pounds! I'm back to my pre pregnancy weight!

I'm actually kind of disappointed. I was sort of hoping to be lower than my pre pregnancy weight :(. I know it's stupid, and frankly its a huge deal that I'm already back down to what I am. Also I'm breast feeding, so I know I'll lose more, but I had thought about weighing myself all day and just kept imagining the number lower and lower.

I want to lose about eighty pounds. Huge goal! I know, and all the books say not to even start trying to lose weight until about three months after the baby is born. It makes sense, I'm not getting that much sleep, and my body still needs calories to feed the baby. I'm losing weight rapidly (baby was five pounds, water was 2 pounds, uterus was 2 pounds, placenta was 2 pounds, and extra blood was 4 pounds, going with the lowest number for these I'm still ahead 7 pounds, which is about 2 pounds a week since starting to breast feed) but I feel so motivated right now. Maybe I should start making careful choices food wise and see how that goes. Nothing dangerous for the baby, but good for the baby. I won't cut back on the milk or juice or anything like that, just maybe less oreos.

Taking it easy

So apparently I've been doing to much. My body is sending very clear stop and rest signals, in the form of lots and lots of bleeding and cramping, and general feeling bad. When I called the health line about it they said it was my bodies way of telling me to stay off my feet, and do less. Makes sense I guess, two weeks ago I was pregnant, then gave birth. The next day I was up running around getting my house clean, shopping for baby stuff, and being a hospitable hostess. I felt fine though!

It's hard doing less. I don't actually do that much. I wake up, nurse the baby, take a shower, eat, nurse the baby, do work (all on the computer so it doesn't count as physical activity) feed the baby, take a nap, eat, feed the baby, clean the house, eat dinner, and take cat naps the rest of the night.

So cleaning the house has to go, since work can't, and feeding the baby can't. Instead of cleaning I now nap. It's hard not cleaning though, because my husband tries, but just doesn't get it done like I would. He's fine with dishes sitting in the sink instead of in the dishwasher (I wouldn't care that much except in an apartment that equals bugs) or not taking out the trash as soon as the bag gets full so we aren't pushing trash down in an effort to close the lid, or doing laundry before we actually run out of clothes.

What I need to let go of is that he does do everything though. He makes me dinner and lunch if he's home, and eventually when no more dishes fit in the sink he'll empty the dishwasher and fill it back up, he does the laundry every week, and he does take out the trash eventually. I need to relax, and get over it. I should be better soon, rushing my recovery won't do anyone any favors.

I love facebook

I love my family. Even though they haven't seen my baby yet (which is completely fine with me, I love them, I want them to meet my daughter, but company is so disruptive to my newborns schedule) they are keeping up with her every move on facebook. Yes I am one of those annoying moms who post photographs daily of their children. Mwahhah! I refuse to feel bad about it considering how many friends I have that post daily pictures of themselves either modeling or drinking with their friends every day. Nothing wrong with it, just don't complain about my million pictures if you don't want me to complain about yours.

Actually no one has complained, (but I'm ready if they ever do!) everyone comments about how cute my little angel is, and then they send me presents. :) Every item I've mentioned on facebook I've received in the mail within a few business days. Wipe warmer, bottle warmer, clothes in newborn sizes, (we had a few newborn clothes, but mostly we got 3 and six month outfits because we weren't sure what size she would be when she was born, size wise she's preemie, newborn outfits are huge on her, but I feel like actually buying preemie clothes would be a waste since she's already back to her birthweight, and next week will likely be newborn size) a swaddler, and hopefully *fingers crossed* a sling here soon.

I'm not posting in hopes of getting items, I'm asking if anyone knows of a good brand to get, and then bam, it shows up in the mail. Love it.

It's making my husband worried though, his family is throwing me a shower whenever I go visit them in Alabama, (they couldn't come to my shower, and felt bad, even though I completely understand not driving four hours to attend a shower and was not offended at all, they are insisting I drive my newborn child down there to visit them so they can throw me a shower. On the one hand that's super sweet, on the other hand umm... four hours is awhile for me as well. But we reached a good compromise, I'm going to go when I'm ready, and when Bella is ready. We don't know when that's going to be, but most likely in late November or early December)

anyway they aren't rolling in money (who is?) and most of these items I keep mentioning on face book are low ticket items, given that I post with intent to buy, and I don't have a lot of money. He's concerned that all the affordable gifts are being bought, and while he's grateful they are being bought he's worried.

Honestly we can do without presents at all. The baby got everything it needed at my first shower, now we're just getting novelty items, like diaper genies (courtesy of my husbands cousin) or wipe warmers, bottle warmers, and more clothes. I'm running out of items to even think of buying. Hopefully I'll come up with a few more by Christmas, so that I can buy my baby an awesome first Christmas gift.

My brother is visiting tommorow, and then next week my mother-in-law is visiting for a week, so lot's of company is coming through. But after that it is just me, my husband, and the baby until Thanksgiving :)

Swine Flue

So my husband comes home today talking about how people in his pharmacy class are out with swine flue, and he was nervous because so many people were coughing today. That's great. He took a shower, and is nervous about being around the baby, but it's not like it's avoidable. We're both getting the vaccine next week, so that's good, but I'm so nervous it's going to be too late. What happens to a newborn with swine flue?

Furthermore why were people who were coughing going to school? Because of pressure. Students are told to stay home when sick, but then told if they miss more than two days they'll fail, and make ups are impossible. It's not just pharmacy school either, when I went to high school we had a kid show up with TB because his AP Lit teacher told him if he missed any more days she'd fail him! So then the whole school had to be tested.

Not a year later we had a kid come to school with pneumonia because he absolutely couldn't miss a test, he collapsed after the exam and had to be hospitalized. His parents thought he was home, but he drove himself to school while they were at work.

It's not just schools, people go to school deathly ill because they don't want to be fired. It really bothers me to see a waitress, or teacher sniffling, sure it may be allergies, but more likely than not they can't afford to be sick.

And people wonder why this stuff spreads so fast. Yet another argument for homeschooling Bella, not that I need more reasons.

Time Management

It's sort of difficult to plan your day in two hour increments. Bella has her times when she's awake for an hour or so, generally between her 4:00 am, and 6:00 am feeding, and then she has her typical two hour naps, like from 6:00 am to 8:00, and from 8:00- 10:00, and then she has her random long stretches, like from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm. And it's hard to figure out what to do with my time.

When she's awake I want to spend time with her. I look at her, play with her, dangle toys in front of her face, dress her in cute outfits, that sort of thing. Mostly though we just stare at each other. She doesn't like to be put down while she's awake, and since it only lasts longer than ten minutes while she's not feeding twice a day, I'm loath to put her down.

I try to nap during her two four hour naps during the day, but then that leaves me doing things like cleaning, and work, and blogging at night. I can clean at night without a problem, but the computer is in the bedroom so working or blogging while my husband is trying to sleep is out of the question. I'm seriously considering moving the computer to the babies room, since I spend most of the night in there with her, but how ridiculous would that look?

It's already odd that our baby has a tv, cd player, dvd, and ipod touch, but we had those in our guest bedroom earlier, moving them out just because we had a baby wouldn't make a lot of sense.

Plus I've been told not to get attached to any one schedule, because she's going to change it soon. So what to do?

Breast Feeding Basics

I think I may finally be getting the hang of this breast feeding thing! I've been doing it for one week and one day, and Bella and I are settling into a routine, and my nipples are toughening up. I haven't really had to deal with engorgement. Sure my breasts get sore and full feeling when Bella sleeps through a feeding, but nothing like the books described. I'm either a super lucky woman, or those books exaggerate to the nth. degree. Most likely its a combination of me being lucky, and me being young, and not having to work.

I about quit two nights ago when Bella just kept feeding until she was due for her next feeding, and she was still hungry! I was out of milk, and thank goodness I had pumped some earlier for my husband to take her away from me and feed her. She of course settled right down.

Since then I haven't had time to pump, I've been trying to get back into the swing of things. My house is clean, my work is done, I eat and sleep on a regular basis, and the baby eats and sleeps on a regular basis, but that doesn't leave me a spare second to pump milk for the baby.

That upsets my husband, I can tell. He loves giving her one feeding a day, heck he'd do all the feedings if I'd let him. I'm nervous though because I wanted to have a reserve in the fridge and so far that's not happening.

The biggest difference in breast feeding was getting the position right. I thought I was doing exactly what the lactation nurse told me, but I was reading a baby book the other night and it pointed out the baby needs to be tummy to tummy with you. *head bang* well there you go. I was cradling the baby not putting it tummy to tummy. Wow the difference that makes!

Hopefully I'll be as enthusiastic about this tommorow as I have been yesterday and today!

I don't like company

Ok, maybe I'm the most possessive new mommy ever, but I really just want to be home spending time with my baby with my husband. Actually considering that I didn't even want guests at our wedding, I'd say this is most likely just a personality trait. Its not that I don't like people, I love people. I consider myself fairly social. It's just that I'd rather not worry about people when I'm cherishing a special event.

That said, my husbands cousin came to visit this weekend. She brought a diaper genie, and promised to help with house work and cooking. Thing is I don't need help. The house was clean, the cooking pre-done, so all she actually did was hold my baby, and make me feel rude when I napped or went back to the room to feed. She's super nice, and she was trying to be helpful, so it wasn't her fault, its just that I would have rather waited a few weeks before having company.

My husband felt the same way once she was here and felt bad about it, so instead of studying he spent to the entire time in the living room with her being social. Which again meant I was nursing without him talking to me and playing with the baby with me.

She's left now, but his mother is planning on visiting for a week sometime soon. A week! I love my mil, but I just want to be with the baby and be alone, but I can't deny her the opportunity to see her grandchild either. My brother is visiting next weekend, but only for a few hours, so I'm not very concerned about that. But in the meantime I feel like a selfish ogre. No company please, just me and my little family.